Early relationships can contribute to expectations and beliefs about self and others. When individuation is discouraged or punished — in direct or subtle ways— it can leave a person struggling to feel grounded in who they are or to separate from family patterns.

In families where caregivers carry unmet needs or unprocessed pain, and act in ways that are unpredictable, hurtful, neglectful and overwhelming, children often adapt by suppressing parts of themselves or by taking responsibility for others’ emotions and well-being to maintain safety and connection. One may learn that connection depends on self-sacrifice and that having certain needs or boundaries risks disconnection, while putting others first earns acceptance and value.

These adaptations can lead to guilt, confusion, or anxiety about honoring one’s own needs, desires and personal power. What may look like ambivalence is often the legacy of an earlier bind: “If I honor myself, will I lose connection?” One might also remain in relationships that echo these earlier dynamics, reinforcing the belief that staying connected requires self-abandonment.

Therapy offers space to gently revisit these dynamics. With empathy and attunement, painful narratives can be released, making room for self-empathy and authentic connection. When experiences of loss can be empathically held, it can become more possible to stay in connection to what feels real, meaningful, and aligned.

Grief is a deeply human response to loss — an internal process that can stir a wide range of emotions. It can arise in response to the death of a loved one and can also emerge from other forms of loss, such as changes in health, relationships, jobs, dreams, or identity.

At its core, grief reflects the significance of bonding, bonding that also involves vulnerability to the pain of loss. 

Not all losses are clear-cut or socially recognized. The slow fading of a relationship, estrangement, the decline of a loved one’s cognitive or emotional capacity, or losses that feel “unacceptable” to grieve — such as the loss of someone whose role was hidden or stigmatized — can be especially difficult to name and mourn.

Grief can also feel particularly complex when a relationship was painful or complicated. Sometimes sadness for what was lost coexists with feelings of anger, guilt, or relief. All of these responses are valid. Acknowledging the full scope of what a bond meant — both the ways it nurtured and the ways it hurt — can be an important step in moving through grief with compassion for one’s whole experience.

Grief is an important and deeply personal process, one that deserves space and acknowledgment. I aim to support this process with care and respect, accompanying you as you honor what has been lost — and what it meant to you — at a pace that feels safe and true.